We Have to Earn Our Way Out

You have to earn your way through life--Trevor and Ian's Mom

My oldest son is working two jobs—one of which is a delivery job for a local deli. He needs transportation, and it can’t be me anymore. I found myself in a Catch-22: support his need to work and buy him a car, or stick to my firm belief that my boys need to earn their way through life and tell him to buy his own car. The reality is that without a car, he can’t work, but without work he can’t buy a car. I wrestled with this dilemma for days before I hit on a solution that I think supports both concepts. I will buy him a reliable used car that he can reasonably repay me for each month for a specified number of years. At that time, the car will be his. This way, not only is he earning the right to have a car, but he has “skin in the game.”I love my son, but he has not always been kind to the family car. Now, it’s in his best interest to take care of this car because he will be paying for all gas and maintenance.

In America they are too full to swallow sorrow--Double Luck by Lu Chi Fa

I just finished reading Double Luck—the story of a Chinese orphan who works hard through adversity to make it to America via Hong Kong and Taiwan. He was sold into slavery at age 5 and was the sole bread winner for his brother’s family at age 9. It’s caused me to revisit my childhood memories in a major way because Chi Fa was leaving Taiwan for America just as I was leaving America for Taiwan. He was 18. I was 5.

To Chi Fa, I was one of those Americans that were too full to swallow sorrow. My first thought was that at age five I was too young to have any sorrow to swallow, but this author had already experienced more sorrow by the time he was five than I experienced my whole childhood. My family lived just outside of Taipei for three years, and while we probably didn’t live the way most of my friends lived back in the States, we lived much better than most of the Taiwanese families that lived in the lean-to’s behind my house. Interestingly enough, my memories of playing with the kids back there all involve laughter and smiles. They didn’t have a lot, but then they didn’t need a lot to be a family and be happy.

I have still joy in the midst of these things--Confusius

In the decades following the Great Depression, Americans were forced to live their lives differently. They learned to save and not take even the smallest luxuries for granted. During World War II they had to fight for their country, their way of life, the freedom that seemed inherently theirs, and in a lot of cases their very lives. That generation of Americans did without, sacrificed, worked harder than many of us can imagine… and in return, they earned every penny they saved, every car they drove, every house they lived in, every privilege they experienced, and every luxury they cherished.

My memories of family gatherings at my grandfather’s house are warm and wonderful and full of laughter. My grandfather, all of his sisters and brothers—one who was even held as a POW in Germany during World War II—and their families all gathered to share and be with each other. It was a time to cherish what everyone had. It was a time to cherish each other and family.

The families that lived behind me in Taiwan didn’t have much, not even a true roof over their head, but they also didn’t have credit card debt, mortgages that they couldn’t afford, or a feeling that their joy was based in anything other than family and friends and that which they earned—including integrity and dignity which is very important in the Chinese culture. In the book that I just read, Chi Fa had many reasons to be bitter, to be full of sorrow, to blame everyone and everything around him. Instead he made wishes on the first star in the night sky and recited Confusius for comfort:

With coarse rice to eat,

With water to drink,

And my bended arm for a pillow—

I have still joy in the midst of these things

We Have to Earn Our Way Out--Margie MacDonald

I think the solution to stabilizing the housing market is to go back to the concept of earning what we have and keeping our priorities in perspective. The mortgage industry has to earn the world’s trust back, and the only way to do this is to operate from a foundation of honesty, principle, and integrity from this day forward. Buyers need to earn the right to own a home, and the only way to do this is to work hard to earn and save a down payment—their skin in the game—and to live within their means. Americans, still, live a better life than most of the world, but we need to refocus our priorities and responsibilities to ensure we don’t lose the privileges of the American way of life.